Recently in women Category

My daily perusals of the New York Times online today led me to this, a review of "My Little Red Book", by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff. I was attracted initially by the review's title: "In the Open at Last, a Secret All Women Share". I was sure I'd find something at least marginally offensive or just plain interesting. I was right on both counts. I am certainly interested in checking this book out. It is a collection of stories from women about the experience of their first period. It has oustanding potential.

On the other hand, reviewer Abigail Zuger, MD, rubs me the wrong way. In both title and her insistence that men should go outside and "toss a ball around for awhile" rather than read the book, Zuger seems stuck in the binary view of gender, deciding for others how their genders must present themselves. She further distances herself, as well as the book, from being overtly feminist. I can't speak for the book until I've actually read it, but Zuger assures us that the editors "manage to avoid both the chirpy 'You are a woman now' song of the Tampax box and the lugubrious musings on blood, moons and fertility of the feminist academic."

Still, I am very curious about the book. I am also curious about the subject. Take my first period for example. My mother had already been telling me for a few years that I would get my period "very soon". That never happened. I probably spent a few seconds every day for two years wondering if "this will be the day?" I was terrified it was going to happen in class, or without my realizing it until someone laughed and pointed to a bloodstain on my pants. I began asking my mother and sister how I would know? What does it feel like? I was never really satisfied with my sister's "like trickling blood" explanation, but what could I do? I started going to the bathroom a lot in 8th grade, when many of my other lady friends had already started. I had to check. I often convinced myself I could feel myself bleeding during class, so I'd run off to check.

The actual moment was more lackluster than most stories. I was at home. Going to the bathroom. For real, not in a paraniod "have I started my period yet?" way. As I was, for lack of a better way to put this, "cleaning up", the tissue came away bloody. I was terrified for a few seconds until I figured it out. I screamed "MOOOOOMMM!!!!" at the top of my lungs, she came, she gave me a tampon, which I refused to use because it terrified me, she came back with pad, and that was it.

Anyone else want to share their stories?

With a Vice-President-elect like Joe Biden, the man who brought us the Violence Against Women Act, things should be looking up, right? Apparently not. By the end of the year, King County's Domestic Violence Unit will be no more. http://www.kuow.org/program.php?id=16472

Budget cuts are all over the country and they are hurting Americans where it hurts. This, however, is the most devastating cut I have seen locally. Yes, job cuts are terrible and individuals are really hurting. But this is a decision by the state that not only effects jobs (civilian personnel will be let go and detectives and officers will be transferred elsewhere in the county), but it is the complte abandonment of specialized care and protection that worries me most.

Sergeant John Urquhart (who represents the King County sheriff's office) makes an excellent point : "At least in our opinion, the first role of government is public safety, that's what they have to do first, and quite frankly they're not doing this now". Urquhart also notes that the kind of special training, protection, and expertise provided by the Domestic Violence Unit will be "lost over time". This is simply unacceptable.

Luckily, the cut is not going unnoticed. County employees, victims' rights groups, victim service provides and even the sheriff's office itself are all extremely unhappy. I won't say that being vocal will bring the unit back. I won't be that optimistic. But at least speaking out about the importance of such state-sponsered services and protection, especially in a time and area where domestic violence is on a steady rise can help raise awareness. Not only will county executives feel the anger over such cuts, but the public will be exposed to what a serious problem domestic violence is. Hopefully, victims may also find the support they need in groups that may spring up in the wake of this devastating loss.

Although insurance coverage in the workplace is regulated by national law to provide equal coverage at the same price for both women and men, recent studies have revealed a massive gender disparity in private insurance coverage, which is regulated by state law.

Rates and coverage vary from state to state, but women in their 30s are paying as much as 49% more in premiums for coverage than their male counterparts! Their deductibles are also as much as 32% higher. Insurance companies have rationalized this massive inequity by saying that women aged 19-55 simply cost more than men to insure. Women, supposedly, use more health care, especially during child-bearing years. Which leads to another major point of contention: maternity care. Insurance big-wigs keep coming back to the issue of maternity care, which is a gender-specific health issue and extremely costly, which drives up insurance rates for women. If this is insurance companies' primary argument for increased rates, however, then when doesn't that disparity disappear for plans that do not include maternity care?

Company execs also argue that "claims experience shows that women use more health care services" in general. "They are more likely to visit doctors, to take prescription medications and to have certain chronic illnesses" (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/30/us/30insure.html?fta=y). My argument is this: doesn't preventative care, such as regular doctor's visits, actually end up saving insurance companies money in the long run? Isn't it better, both medically and economically, when precautions against major illnesses can be taken and early-detected illnesses are resolved with less intense, less expensive, and relatively short-term therapies?

As for the second part of that argument, that women are at a higher risk of developing certain chronic illnesses, that rhetoric doesn't work for racial health care discrimination and it shouldn't work for gender discrimination either. We do not tolerate (anymore) "rationale" that states that black people should pay more for insurance coverage because only they can have sickle cell anemia, a costly and chronic condition.

Perhaps more important is a discussion about what this says about the very basics of our nation's health care system. Why does health care always boil down to what is the cheapest? When discussing health insurance, the human factor seems to be all but absent. We no longer discuss good or effective health care. We do not talk about plans that work for individual needs or allow for high-quality medicine. We are reduced to talking about cost-effectiveness.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Capitalist economy means that everything boils down to money (insert Marxist analysis here), but rather than gripe about the theory of economics, of which the health care system is a part of, let's talk about people. Let's talk about our lives. Let's stop looking at people as series of numbers that identify their risk and cost analysis. Most importantly, gender is NOT a reason to provide sub-standard or more expensive health coverage.

Given that my most recent post was a rally and a vow to speak up when harrassed, I feel it is important to share my day. And my woefully inadequate reactions.

My work places a pretty high premium on customer service. So do I. I was raised to be conscientious about tact, charm, politeness, and to be able to take a joke. So when I spend my days working with a lot of "older" men (meaning over 60 and, even more often, over 70 or 80), I roll with their ridiculous jokes, I smile and nod about differing political remarks, and I nervously chuckle when they flirt with me. I've noticed that old men just tend to be flirtatious. My mother has the same experiences in her line of work, which she readily shares with me. They're mostly harmless and inoffensive. Sometimes it's even flattering when a patient comes early and tells me I make great coffee and that they like talking to me. Sometimes it genuinely is funny when they are blatantly non-threatening and make remarks about my being a "pretty young woman". My grandmother says that to me a lot. A compliment is very different from harrassment. Even if compliments have always made me uncomfortable (yay being an American media-saturated woman!).

But at what point does being generally uncomfortable with compliments become something inappropriate or harrassment? One incident today bothers me most. A patient that I really genuinely enjoy talking to came in for his appointment and made me immediately uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. He came in early, opened the door, came to my desk and said "I came in early so I could admire your beautiful big brown eyes, your red nails, and...other various aspects of your loveliness". He then asked if my nails were real. I said yes, to which he responded "Are other parts of you real?" Luckily, he was then swept into my boss' office for his appointment.

Now, this guy has made dirty jokes before. To me as well as to my boss. He really is very funny. And it's really hard to dislike a guy who sounds like a vocal mixture of Carl Castle and Garrison Keilor. And I'm not even sure how he meant it. He followed up during his appointment (when we put new hearing aid patients on the phone with me to adjust the settings on the aid) by telling me that I needed to be careful with men that I dated and that he and my father both want me to be safe and happy. He went from creepy creepy old man to protective grandfather figure. So, again, at what point am I just being overly sensitive?

Which brings us to another problem: We, as women (though the phenomenon is not limited to this gendered category), are conditioned to believe that we are often over-sensitive. When we get upset, uncomfortable, or downright angry, we are told that we are just too emotional and to calm down about it. I recognize this in myself. Regardless of what someone's intentions are, if you are uncomfortable, it is well within your rights to say something, put a stop to the uncomfortable behavior, do whatever you need to get yourself back into a place where you feel comfortable.

So today I was very very uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what the situation is classified as beyond the fact that I was made to feel very uncomfortable. It was well within my rights to say or do something about how I was feeling. Maybe it's because the job is new and I am afraid of overstepping my boundaries. Maybe I need to be more confident. Maybe I need to learn how to separate the discomfort that comes with an unsafe or threatening situation with the discomfort of simply receiving a compliment.

I am going to say something to my boss. I will not stay completely silent on the issue. But while talking about the importance of speaking out, it is also important to recognize the stigma and fear surrounding that breaking with tradition. It is important to recognize that silence is often more comfortable.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7682951.stm

Finally, a court decision to put a man accused of sexual harrassment in jail. I'm not entirely positive, but to the best of my knowledge, this is the first time someone accused of sexual harrassment has actually been given jail time. I know it is true for Egypt, but I am not positive about the rest of the world. Regardless, this is a landmark event.

Sexual harrassment is something that we are taught to laugh about. Ha. Ha. It's hilarious when some random guy in a bar tries to grab your ass or feel you up. It's the best joke ever when someone you don't know makes lude comments to you from a car. Walking down the street is infinitely more entertaining when you are constantly reminded of your status as sexual object. Isn't it the best?

Our streets, our public transportation systems, the public places we visit shouldn't be places we fear. Walking home after 5:00 in a major metropolitan area, in any area, shouldn't be as frightening as it is. More importantly, the onus shouldn't be on me or you or the object of the harrassment for there to be consequences. I've certainly been harrassed in various public areas and no one seems to care. They just keep walking. Or even worse, as is exemplified by this case in Egypt, you actually have various bystanders telling you not to call the police or that it's your fault.

While it shouldn't be the "victim" who is responsible for calling the police or making sure there are consequences for harrassers, I admit that I have never done anything about it when I have been harrassed. For me, it's always been clear that I could call the cops, I could take a license plate number, but that nothing would ever come of it. Noha Saleh/Ostadh proves that consequences are possible.

We've been talking a lot about silence lately, especially in regards to rape, but it's time for us to take charge of the silence in our own lives instead of just talking about the epidemic of silence. I can only speak for me, but the next time someone harrasses me, I am making a call to the police. I will be more verbal the next time I see someone else being harrassed so they will know someone cares. And so the offender will know it is not acceptable behavior.

Now that Endangered Species and Messiah Complex (the last two crossover story arcs of X-men) have completed their back-to-back runs, the different X-Men titles have finally resumed their individual storylines. X-Factor's return to it's more contained storyline at the end of February was truly impressive, not only because of great writing and art by Peter David and Pablo Raimondi, respectively, but because of that rarest of scenes: an actual conversation about abortion.

The conversation is between X-(Wo)Men Monet and Theresa. Theresa has just revealed that she is pregnant with Madrox's baby. It goes something like this:

Monet: "My God, Theresa, are you sure...?"

Theresa: "The doctor confirmed what the test already told me. I'm six weeks along, and before you ask, yes, Jamie's the father."

Monet: "So...look, Theresa. Do you want me to come along? To hold your hand?"

Theresa: "What are you talking about?"

Monet: "Well, when you go for the...YOU know..."

Theresa: "Wait...M! You don't seriously think I'd...CRIPES! We're talking about a LIFE!"

Monet: "What about your life, huh? You don't need it saddled with...I mean, come on! You're too young..."

Theresa: "I'm the same age my mother was, Monet."

Monet: "And I'm sure HER best friend told her what I'M telling you, except maybe you'll be smart enough to listen."

Theresa: "M, Haven't you realized how important EVERY life is if our race is to survive?"*

Monet: "Oh, so you're going to take one for the team. Wonderful. And Madrox? A father? PLEASE. Your EMBRYO is more mature."

*The mutant species, the X-Men are dying out. The Scarlet Witch unleashed a virus that made many mutants lose their powers and only one mutant baby has been born since (the subject of Messiah Complex).

The conversation is short and not the most in depth thing in the world, but IT'S THERE! These conversations just do not occur in pop culture. Generally speaking, movies, tv shows, comics, and the like gloss over the issue of abortion. Even when young characters become unexpectedly pregnant and the storyline seems to require some sort of discussion about abortion, the option manages to get left out.

And so I find it incredibly refreshing to have an honest discussion and evaluation of alternative options to single motherhood in X-Factor, which is a major title from the Marvel imprint, meaning that it is fairly mainstream. This discussion, then, is reaching a considerable and large audience. Well done, David, well done.

Congo war rape victims | PRIs The World

Most of us have probably heard about this before, but The World did a really well-done story on it today.

An 11 year old gang raped for days. A 10  year old who suffers from incontinence as a result of a brutal rape. Women raped for the sole purpose of terror in the Congo. When and how did women's bodies become objects of war strategy? Just to warn everything, I think this is a really important story to listen to or look up, but it's hard to hear. Often the most important things are.

So last quarter I got really excited about being able to write a paper on ANYTHING I wanted. Of course, I went to comics. I did an examination of the way women are drawn in mainstream comics. What I found was really stuff I already knew: women are drawn as sexualized and disciplined bodies, especially women superheroes, to keep them subordinate to their male counterparts. It has illustrations and everything! I think it's pretty interesting, but that's me. Now if I can just figure out how to post it or, more reasonably, put a link where you can download it to read...

http://www.mediafire.com/?3hlxdmyqtf2