Recently in sexual violence Category

The Asylum story yesterday about drink spiking is perhaps one of the worst cases of irresponsible journalism I have seen in quite some time. This is probably because I don't often read the dregs of web media, but it's still pretty bad. Citing a study of Australian "drink spiking victims", Jeremy Taylor presents a "happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with!" Out of women who claim their drinks were spiked, NONE of their claims were true. Nope, they just drank themselves into a stupor and made up a story about being drugged to absolve themselves of responsibility.

The report itself is offensive enough (I want to see some credentials and more information on that report's sources), but the article's tone is also dismissive to the point of causing harm. Taylor's use of quotation marks when using the word victim, rather than taking issue with the semantics, serves to dismiss the real trauma of countless women who have been drugged. It negates the plausibility of all such claims of abuse.

There's no use arguing how damaging such dismissive rhetoric is, especially in cases of violence against women. We have a few decades, at least, of wrongfully dismissed rape cases and countless women afraid to report real crimes for fear of being called a liar or worse for proof of damage. Also, I'd be preaching to the choir. But I think it's worth getting really riled up about. And I think it's worth pointing out the last line of the article, as well: "We tried to use the 'my drink must have been spiked' excuse with a girlfriend once. No, we are no longer dating".

Taylor's use of humor, from the epitaph of the article to its closing line, makes the issue of date rape and the spiking of drinks into a punchline. Not only is this offensive, it is completely inexcusable. While the author himself deserves to be punished, the media network who allowed the article to be written and then linked to more prominent news outlets (like AOL, where i found it) should also be held accountable. While citing a vague report, presenting unsubstantiated claims is reckless and irresponsible, it is important to realize that when the issue is as important and sensitive as this, the stakes are even higher. The standards of journalism should be too.

You know, ever since I grew out of my 14 year old rebellious phase, I've recognized that sometimes cops just get a bad rap. Sure, I still kind of love the NWA song, but I know that cops do a lot of good work, especially after getting to know a few. That's why it's always especially distressing when cops end up proving stereotypes right by doing something assinine. Like wailing on a teenage girl for tossing a shoe at them. Today's news, however, is unconscionable.

The NYPD were called to help escort a drunken woman home. Two male officers, Moreno and Mata, arrived, took her upstairs, then returned twice. At some point during one of those visits, Moreno, who has been on the job for 18 years and two years away from retiring with his pension, raped the semi-conscious woman while she lay face down on her bed. Mata, only part of the force for 3 years, kept lookout for his partner.

The NYPD is dually heralded as both the best and the worst police force in the world. For a police officer answering his call of duty by raping the citizen he was sent "to serve and protect" is truly one of the most dispicable acts one could commit.

While looking around online after that last post, I found this:

I really don't think I need to say anything. Other, of course, than what the fuck? It's moments like these I'm grateful I don't read fashion magazines.

The Colorado State University Police Chief, Dexter Yarbrough, has an awful lot of charges against him. Unfortunately, most of those charges were pressed years ago, but CSU seems to have kept them quiet. Now the situation has come to a head and an awful lot of nasty evidence is surfacing. My favorite are the tape recordings of his lectures, taken by a saavy student who knew Yarbrough was crossing lines, particularly legal ones.

There are a lot of awful quotes, but the one that really manages to stand apart from the rest is this gem: "Women want the dick, even when they say 'no'. They want the dick."

Thank you, Jessica, at feministing.com, for alerting me to another heartwarming day in the news!

With a Vice-President-elect like Joe Biden, the man who brought us the Violence Against Women Act, things should be looking up, right? Apparently not. By the end of the year, King County's Domestic Violence Unit will be no more. http://www.kuow.org/program.php?id=16472

Budget cuts are all over the country and they are hurting Americans where it hurts. This, however, is the most devastating cut I have seen locally. Yes, job cuts are terrible and individuals are really hurting. But this is a decision by the state that not only effects jobs (civilian personnel will be let go and detectives and officers will be transferred elsewhere in the county), but it is the complte abandonment of specialized care and protection that worries me most.

Sergeant John Urquhart (who represents the King County sheriff's office) makes an excellent point : "At least in our opinion, the first role of government is public safety, that's what they have to do first, and quite frankly they're not doing this now". Urquhart also notes that the kind of special training, protection, and expertise provided by the Domestic Violence Unit will be "lost over time". This is simply unacceptable.

Luckily, the cut is not going unnoticed. County employees, victims' rights groups, victim service provides and even the sheriff's office itself are all extremely unhappy. I won't say that being vocal will bring the unit back. I won't be that optimistic. But at least speaking out about the importance of such state-sponsered services and protection, especially in a time and area where domestic violence is on a steady rise can help raise awareness. Not only will county executives feel the anger over such cuts, but the public will be exposed to what a serious problem domestic violence is. Hopefully, victims may also find the support they need in groups that may spring up in the wake of this devastating loss.

Speaking of community violence, a 16 year old boy pleaded not guilty yesterday to rape. His "victim" [parentheses not to delegitimize claim, but because I don't like the word and its discursive implications] was a 15 year old classmate who came to his home, had a beer, and then experienced what sound like symptoms of rufies. Her friend was with her, both girls fell asleep at the house, and one was forced to have sex, "despite her repeated pleas for him to stop". The boy is a student at Mt. Baker High School. Since they are minors. no identities have been released.

[story from November 6th's Bellingham Herald, Pg A3]

Given that my most recent post was a rally and a vow to speak up when harrassed, I feel it is important to share my day. And my woefully inadequate reactions.

My work places a pretty high premium on customer service. So do I. I was raised to be conscientious about tact, charm, politeness, and to be able to take a joke. So when I spend my days working with a lot of "older" men (meaning over 60 and, even more often, over 70 or 80), I roll with their ridiculous jokes, I smile and nod about differing political remarks, and I nervously chuckle when they flirt with me. I've noticed that old men just tend to be flirtatious. My mother has the same experiences in her line of work, which she readily shares with me. They're mostly harmless and inoffensive. Sometimes it's even flattering when a patient comes early and tells me I make great coffee and that they like talking to me. Sometimes it genuinely is funny when they are blatantly non-threatening and make remarks about my being a "pretty young woman". My grandmother says that to me a lot. A compliment is very different from harrassment. Even if compliments have always made me uncomfortable (yay being an American media-saturated woman!).

But at what point does being generally uncomfortable with compliments become something inappropriate or harrassment? One incident today bothers me most. A patient that I really genuinely enjoy talking to came in for his appointment and made me immediately uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. He came in early, opened the door, came to my desk and said "I came in early so I could admire your beautiful big brown eyes, your red nails, and...other various aspects of your loveliness". He then asked if my nails were real. I said yes, to which he responded "Are other parts of you real?" Luckily, he was then swept into my boss' office for his appointment.

Now, this guy has made dirty jokes before. To me as well as to my boss. He really is very funny. And it's really hard to dislike a guy who sounds like a vocal mixture of Carl Castle and Garrison Keilor. And I'm not even sure how he meant it. He followed up during his appointment (when we put new hearing aid patients on the phone with me to adjust the settings on the aid) by telling me that I needed to be careful with men that I dated and that he and my father both want me to be safe and happy. He went from creepy creepy old man to protective grandfather figure. So, again, at what point am I just being overly sensitive?

Which brings us to another problem: We, as women (though the phenomenon is not limited to this gendered category), are conditioned to believe that we are often over-sensitive. When we get upset, uncomfortable, or downright angry, we are told that we are just too emotional and to calm down about it. I recognize this in myself. Regardless of what someone's intentions are, if you are uncomfortable, it is well within your rights to say something, put a stop to the uncomfortable behavior, do whatever you need to get yourself back into a place where you feel comfortable.

So today I was very very uncomfortable. It doesn't matter what the situation is classified as beyond the fact that I was made to feel very uncomfortable. It was well within my rights to say or do something about how I was feeling. Maybe it's because the job is new and I am afraid of overstepping my boundaries. Maybe I need to be more confident. Maybe I need to learn how to separate the discomfort that comes with an unsafe or threatening situation with the discomfort of simply receiving a compliment.

I am going to say something to my boss. I will not stay completely silent on the issue. But while talking about the importance of speaking out, it is also important to recognize the stigma and fear surrounding that breaking with tradition. It is important to recognize that silence is often more comfortable.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7682951.stm

Finally, a court decision to put a man accused of sexual harrassment in jail. I'm not entirely positive, but to the best of my knowledge, this is the first time someone accused of sexual harrassment has actually been given jail time. I know it is true for Egypt, but I am not positive about the rest of the world. Regardless, this is a landmark event.

Sexual harrassment is something that we are taught to laugh about. Ha. Ha. It's hilarious when some random guy in a bar tries to grab your ass or feel you up. It's the best joke ever when someone you don't know makes lude comments to you from a car. Walking down the street is infinitely more entertaining when you are constantly reminded of your status as sexual object. Isn't it the best?

Our streets, our public transportation systems, the public places we visit shouldn't be places we fear. Walking home after 5:00 in a major metropolitan area, in any area, shouldn't be as frightening as it is. More importantly, the onus shouldn't be on me or you or the object of the harrassment for there to be consequences. I've certainly been harrassed in various public areas and no one seems to care. They just keep walking. Or even worse, as is exemplified by this case in Egypt, you actually have various bystanders telling you not to call the police or that it's your fault.

While it shouldn't be the "victim" who is responsible for calling the police or making sure there are consequences for harrassers, I admit that I have never done anything about it when I have been harrassed. For me, it's always been clear that I could call the cops, I could take a license plate number, but that nothing would ever come of it. Noha Saleh/Ostadh proves that consequences are possible.

We've been talking a lot about silence lately, especially in regards to rape, but it's time for us to take charge of the silence in our own lives instead of just talking about the epidemic of silence. I can only speak for me, but the next time someone harrasses me, I am making a call to the police. I will be more verbal the next time I see someone else being harrassed so they will know someone cares. And so the offender will know it is not acceptable behavior.

http://girl-wonder.org/girlsreadcomics/?p=223

I know that people here aren't necessarily into comics. I'm a special kind of nerd. I get that. A lot of comic critiques are kind of lost on people who don't really read comics, but this one is great. This is one of my favorite bloggers, Karen Healey, a girl-wonder associate. She does a very brief discussion of a new Marvel character, Lady Bullseye, and then launches into a script for an imagined board meeting between the character's author and Marvel execs as to how they came up with her character (who is a "crazy sexy ninja assassin"). 

While the script is hilarious, I think it also brings up a number of very salient points, namely that rape has somehow become a "subversive" story line in many recent comics (as well as other media). Authors and execs are giving female characters rape histories as a way to make them more interesting and "badass". Everyone seems to think they're doing something really original and creative, but no one actually explores rape itself, as an action, as a problem, as something with cause and effect beyond its ability to be a super motive for a fictional hot chick to become an assassin/badass. These writers and execs are, of course, primarily men (this is where you put on your surprised faces). 

How did we skip from rape being an unspoken incident to an edgy, dramatic fad for fictional characters? How did we go from being totally silent on the issue to being fascinated by it only to the extent that it makes a great backstory to flush a flat character out into something more 3-D? And how, with rape suddenly being so "out there", so completely okay to sensationalize, are real (and fictional) women still so effectively silenced?

Congo war rape victims | PRIs The World

Most of us have probably heard about this before, but The World did a really well-done story on it today.

An 11 year old gang raped for days. A 10  year old who suffers from incontinence as a result of a brutal rape. Women raped for the sole purpose of terror in the Congo. When and how did women's bodies become objects of war strategy? Just to warn everything, I think this is a really important story to listen to or look up, but it's hard to hear. Often the most important things are.