My First Period

My daily perusals of the New York Times online today led me to this, a review of "My Little Red Book", by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff. I was attracted initially by the review's title: "In the Open at Last, a Secret All Women Share". I was sure I'd find something at least marginally offensive or just plain interesting. I was right on both counts. I am certainly interested in checking this book out. It is a collection of stories from women about the experience of their first period. It has oustanding potential.

On the other hand, reviewer Abigail Zuger, MD, rubs me the wrong way. In both title and her insistence that men should go outside and "toss a ball around for awhile" rather than read the book, Zuger seems stuck in the binary view of gender, deciding for others how their genders must present themselves. She further distances herself, as well as the book, from being overtly feminist. I can't speak for the book until I've actually read it, but Zuger assures us that the editors "manage to avoid both the chirpy 'You are a woman now' song of the Tampax box and the lugubrious musings on blood, moons and fertility of the feminist academic."

Still, I am very curious about the book. I am also curious about the subject. Take my first period for example. My mother had already been telling me for a few years that I would get my period "very soon". That never happened. I probably spent a few seconds every day for two years wondering if "this will be the day?" I was terrified it was going to happen in class, or without my realizing it until someone laughed and pointed to a bloodstain on my pants. I began asking my mother and sister how I would know? What does it feel like? I was never really satisfied with my sister's "like trickling blood" explanation, but what could I do? I started going to the bathroom a lot in 8th grade, when many of my other lady friends had already started. I had to check. I often convinced myself I could feel myself bleeding during class, so I'd run off to check.

The actual moment was more lackluster than most stories. I was at home. Going to the bathroom. For real, not in a paraniod "have I started my period yet?" way. As I was, for lack of a better way to put this, "cleaning up", the tissue came away bloody. I was terrified for a few seconds until I figured it out. I screamed "MOOOOOMMM!!!!" at the top of my lungs, she came, she gave me a tampon, which I refused to use because it terrified me, she came back with pad, and that was it.

Anyone else want to share their stories?